


In 99 Seconds

by Bookkeeper1



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Confusion, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Singing, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 11:11:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15948164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookkeeper1/pseuds/Bookkeeper1
Summary: Sam thought that she had stumbled upon a really accurate Harry Potter party. Strange that they don't seem to know what Harry Potter is though. Good thing she memorized a video from YouTube for just such an occasion.The Marauders (plus Lily) are just really freaked out that a stranger in a Griffendor uniform seems to know so much about them.





	In 99 Seconds

Sam hadn’t meant to drink so much. Normally she stayed away from alcohol, seeing as she was underage and the threat of her parents killing her if they ever found out (which was pretty likely, small town as this was) was bad enough to keep her far away. Not that she needed the threat, as the awful smell and taste of it was enough to make her avoid it willingly.

But Sam had only come to this party because Katherine, her best friend since 2nd grade, had begged her non-stop for a whole week. And being abandoned within the first ten minutes of the party was not something that Sam liked or appreciated, especially since, though she knew everyone at the party by name, the fact that she had spoken maybe a grand total of ten sentences to everyone here combined in her entire life made this situation very awkward.

Add in the fact that apparently this was the year that everyone had decided unanimously that Halloween was no longer about dressing as your favorite character or creature, but instead a competition to see who could wear the least amount of clothing, made Sam in her authentic Hermione costume feel very out of place sandwiched between all of the sexy female cats. 

So to have something to do she drank. And drank. And as the evening went on she lost track of exactly how many drinks she had, particularly since a lot of them were mixed with juice or soda or other drinks, so it was hard to judge exactly just how much alcohol she had. But since every drink helped make the party seem that much better, she found she didn’t care that much, and she discovered that the taste started to improve too after the first few cups.

Giggling, Sam excused herself from a laughing circle of girls (though what they were all laughing about Sam honestly wasn’t sure), and headed down the hallway towards the bathroom.

~~~

“Well gents,” James said, stretching his arms over the back of the couch to encompass both Sirius and Peter, “I’d say that was about our best Halloween party yet.”

“I’d have to say I concur Prongs,” Sirius replied, letting himself slowly fall down the couch until he was sprawled out on top of both James and Peter. “Didn’t think we would ever be able to top last year’s. But we pulled it off.”

“It helps,” Remus said from another chair nearby, “That we held it here in the common room this year, instead of in a classroom where McGonagall could, and did, walk in on us.”

“You still on about that, Moony?” Sirius asked as he casually stretched over two of his friends, who were too used to this sort of behavior from him to do much about it. “You know as well as I do that she let us off easy with that week’s worth of detentions. Should have given us three weeks worth, at least.”

“Well this year we get zero weeks, which is better in my opinion,” Peter said, Remus nodding in agreement.

“Ah, what’s life without a little excitement, Wormtail?” James asked him, poking him in the side, making Peter yelp before he pushed him over onto Sirius.

“Finally done partying, are we?” A voice called out, soon revealing itself to belong to Lily as she came down from the girl’s dormitories and approached the group, her arms crossed.

“Lily!” James cried, struggling to sit up into a more dignified position, hindered somewhat by Sirius trying to pin him down. “Just once I wish-seriously Padfoot, leggo!-that you would grace us with your presence at one of our celebrations.”

“They really aren’t as bad as they seem,” Remus added in.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Even if I were willing to take the risk,” she said, “There would still be _him_ ,” she looked pointedly at James, who was finally sitting upright, “to put up with.”

“Ah, Lily-Flower, how you wound me so,” James said, gasping and clutching at his heart. “Perhaps if you just gave me a chance-”

“No,” Lily said with such finality that James seemed to wilt.

“Oooh,” Sirius, Peter, and Remus all crooned at the same time. 

“Shut up guys,” James said, glaring at his friends. “You know what, I don’t have to take this.” He stood up and stormed off towards the portrait-hole.

Remus called after him as James opened and went through the passageway. “Oh James, don’t be so dramatic, we’re only teasing.”

“Oh, let him go wander off and get detention,” Lily said, shaking her head. “I’m going to bed.” She started towards the girl’s section, when James came back suddenly with one more person than he left with.

“Oi, gents,” James called. “I think one of our party-goers had a bit too much butterbeer and wandered off.”

The girl he was leading certainly did have that look of a few drinks too many about her. She was wavering in place, looking around wide-eyed at everything, letting out an occasional giggle. She had poofy brown hair, a handbag, and a Gryffindor uniform.

“Wow,” she murmured, swaying. “Such attention to detail. I’m impressed. Katherine should have brought me to this room first.”

“Hello there,” Lily said not unkindly to the girl. “Did you get lost?”

“I guess so,” the girl said, gaze flickering between them all. “I missed where the cool party was, apparently.”

Sirius laughed. “Oh, I like her,” he said. He leapt off the couch and swept himself into an impressive bow. “Sirius Black, at your service.” The girl laughed and nodded, saying “Of course, makes sense.”

“And what might your name be?” Sirius asked, smiling at her.

“And more importantly,” Remus said, slowly sitting up a little straighter, a look of suspicion coming over his face. “Why don’t we know that already? You’re about our age and in a Gryffindor uniform, shouldn’t we have met before?”

The others seemed to realize this too as Remus spoke, and looked more closely at the girl, who waved them off with a “pshh” sound. James started backing off and moved back to the couch, keeping the girl in sight, though it didn’t seem like she noticed.

“Well sorry I was at the other party,” she said, a bit sarcastically. “If I had known there was an entire Harry Potter party going on, of course I would have come here first. And might I say, you all are in some _great_ costumes.” She moved forward, and the other leaned back a little in their spots, but all she did was plop herself down in the one empty armchair, laughing and saying, “Boy, am I dizzy.”

The five looked between themselves.

“Um, costumes?” Peter said.

“Other party?” said Sirius.

“ _Harry_ Potter?” James asked.

“Yeah,” the girl nodded, seeming not so sense their confusion. “Harry Potter- oh!” she exclaimed so loud the others all jumped. “My name. Well, I couldn’t get the hair _as_ bushy as I would have liked, but I’m Hermione Granger.” Sure enough, the girl did have quite bushy hair, though what it had to do with her identity no one was quite sure.

“Um, okay, Hermione, well who _exactly_ …” Lily started to say.

“No need to tell me who you all are!” Hermione exclaimed excitedly. “You all managed to get the parts just right.” She pointed one by one at them and rattled off their names. “Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew.” The three seemed to start a bit as she correctly named them.

Pointing at Lily, she said, “Now, this is tricky, because I’d believe you as either Ginny or Lily, but since your hair’s more red then orange, and it’s really straight, I’m going with Lily Potter.”

Lily looked shocked. “Um, yes, that’s right – wait, Potter!?”

But Hermione had already turned to the last member of the group. “And of course, you can’t have a Harry Potter party without a Harry Potter!”

James chuckled nervously and looked between his friends. “Look Hermione, I think there’s been some kind of mistake…”

Hermione gasped suddenly and loudly. “I’ll say! Where’s your scar, Harry?”

“Erm, what?” James asked, but the girl was already rummaging through the bag she had with her. 

“Luckily I’m prepared for just such an occasion,” she muttered to herself. “Aha!” And before any of the others could even think to react, she drew an item out of her bag, got up to be right in front of James, and brandished her item in front of his face for a moment.

“Ta-da!” She said, stepping back, admiring her handiwork. “ _Now_ you’re Harry Potter.”

“What did she do to me?!” James said frantically, looking around wildly and feeling his forehead. 

Peter grabbed James hands and lowered them to be able to see properly. “She… drew a lightning bolt on you?” Peter said in confusion, cocking his head. 

“Can’t be Harry Potter without the scar,” Hermione said smugly. “Course I only had a black Sharpie, but I think it should work fine. Can’t believe you forgot that bit honestly, it’s an in… in… integral part of the character.” She hiccupped a bit in the middle of speaking.

“Look, lady, who exactly is this Harry Potter person?” Sirius asked, who in his confusion was started to get annoyed.

“Oh, like you don’t know, Sirius. You’re his godfather after all.” Hermione laughed.

“Um, what?” Sirius said. “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Please, like you don’t know. Although, if you do want to play dumb noobs, I have prepared for such a moment. Hold on , give me one moment.” She looked up towards the ceiling and started nodding her head, muttering too quietly to hear.

After a few moments Lily started to speak. “Um, maybe we should get McGon-” but Hermione quickly spoke up again.

“Wait, wait, wait… wait. I got this. I planned for this moment.” She looked rather excited. “Never knew when I would need it. Okay ready here we go, Harry Potter in 99 seconds, someone time me!”

And to the astonished faces of everyone else, she began to sing.

“There once was a boy named Harry, destined to be a star. His parents were killed by Voldemort who gave him a lightning scar.” She pointed at James, seeming not to see all the shivers at He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s name.

“Yo Harry, you’re a wizard.” With that she started making a lot of noise in a random tune for a moment, sounding like a lot of “do’s.”

She started speaking faster than before. “Harry goes to Hogwarts he meets Ron and Hermione. McGonagall requires he play for Gryffindor. Draco is a daddy’s boy, Quirrell becomes unemployed, the Sorcerer’s stone is destroyed by Dumbledore.”

Hermione continued without stopping. “Ron breaks his wand, now Ginny’s gone and Harry’s in mortal danger. Tom Riddle hides his snake inside his ginormous secret chamber.” She seemed to really be getting into it as she continued, making random hand motions at some parts.

“Harry blows up Aunt Marge,” she spoke in a different rhythm. “The dementors come and take charge. Lupin is a wolf,” the Marauders all shared panicked glances, “the rat’s a man and now the prisoner is at large. They use time travel so they can save the prisoner of Azkaban who just so happens to be Harry’s godfather I don’t really get it either.”

Again she changed her tune, slowing down, oblivious to the the looks of shock and horror around her. “Harry gets put in the Triwizard Tournament, with dragons and mermaids – oh no! Edward Cullen gets slain, he’s back!”

“Harry, Harry, it’s getting scary, Voldemort’s back and you’re a revolutionary Harry. Dumbledore, Dumbledore, why is he ignoring your constant attempts to contact him? He is forced to leave the school. Umbridge arrives, Draco’s a tool. Kids sneak into the ministry, Sirius Black as dead as can be, oh!”

“What?” Sirius croaked out, eyes wide in horror. Hermione, however, kept on going.

“Split your soul. Seven parts of a whole. They’re horcruxes. It’s Dumbledore’s end!” she belted out.

“There once was a boy named Harry who constantly conquered death. But with one final duel between good and bad, he may take his final breath.”

Hermione, arms wide, paused for a moment, before adding, in a sing-song voice, “P-A-I-N-T subscribe!”

She panted a bit, smiling to herself. “How long was that?” she asked the others, still not noticing their still-shocked expressions. “99 seconds right? I’ve timed it and everything. God, I’m such a nerd,” she chuckled. “Okay, I’m going to take a nap now. If a girl named Katherine comes looking for me, tell her she’s dumb for not bringing me here first.” She yawned. “Okay goodnight everybody!” And with that she sank down in her armchair and fell asleep.

It was quiet for a few minutes, the only noise Hermione’s gentle snoring.

“Um,” Sirius said. “What the bloody hell was that?”

**Author's Note:**

> All credit for the song goes to Paint. Watch their Harry Potter in 99 Seconds video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y57sYHIDP_Y
> 
> I know I have other stories I need to work on/finish, but until I can get back into the habit of writing more again, have something I have been able to write.


End file.
